


A Plot, A Ploy, and a Kitchen Spoon

by shopfront



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Bad Cooking, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, Humor, Multi, Reality TV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-02-28 06:25:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13265589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shopfront/pseuds/shopfront
Summary: Original Cindy isn't all that inclined to turn down easy money, or the opportunity to meddle and push Max and Alec closer together. So they all reluctantly audition for a cooking show. Badly.





	A Plot, A Ploy, and a Kitchen Spoon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ranalore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranalore/gifts).



> Thank you to S for the beta!

“You’re messing with me,” Max said with a smirk. But that smirk faded fast when Original Cindy just raised an eyebrow at her in reply. “You have got to be kidding. No. No way. Nu-uh.”

She held her hands in front of her in disgust, as if to ward off the very idea, and turned away hurriedly.

Original Cindy followed fast on Max’s heels. She shot a glare at anyone who looked to be coming near them, and promptly cornered Max again by the lockers. “You might not like the favour, but I’m still gonna ask you for it anyway.”

“What the hell do I know about cooking?”

“That’s not the point, boo. They don’t care. Besides, my friend on the inside who’s hooking us up said we get paid either way, and I am _long_ overdue for some retail therapy.”

“You know we can’t be plastering our faces all over TV, and-”

“We won’t even make it that far. Original Cindy has a plan for that, and that’s a solemn promise,” Cindy replied, and then shrugged. “All we need to do is audition and fail, and then you two can break in and steal back the tapes and it’ll be all good.”

“No,” Max said, then slammed her locker shut and glared at Original Cindy some more. “No!”

*

“I’d love to help you out, but I’ve got a little thing going on that-“

Original Cindy smacked a pamphlet against Alec’s chest, and then raised a stern finger in his face. “Be there.”

“No, really, I can’t-“

“Don’t make me sic Joshua on your pretty little behind.”

“I- what?”

“That’s right. Now, I wrote it down for you but it starts at six o’clock sharp, so make sure you’re there early.”

“No, really, Cindy… Cindy!”

“She got to you too, huh,” Max said, slinking out of the shadows to smirk at him.

Alec turned a pout on her, then abruptly perked up. “Max. Maxie. You can go with her! You’d be great at this, you’re so good with… people, and food, and… things. You’ll love it, it'll be fantastic,” he said, trying to shove the pamphlet into her hands. But Max just dodged him, and then gave him a solid shove when he wouldn’t stop.

“No way. I’ve been avoiding her all day, and you are not going to be the one to bring me down,” Max said. She finally slipped past him, still pamphlet free, and warily peeked around the corner. “Coast is clear. See ya!”

“Wait, but… dammit,” Alec said, quickly chasing after her - but she was already gone. However, another familiar face was coming through the now Max-free doorway, and Alec brightened again. “Sketchy! My man!”

Sketchy took one look at the piece of paper in Alec’s hand and took a flying leap over Normal’s desk, skidding through stacks of paper and causing an ominous crashing sound from a toppling pile of packages. “No way, no how, buddy!”

“But-,“ Alec started to protest. But a bellow of rage from Normal’s office made him gulp and promptly give up the chase, abandoning a pale-faced Sketchy to his fate.

*

Everything was going great. Max was free and clear of anything resembling an address or a start time that she could be expected to honour, and Alec was all lined up to be sacrificed in her place. She’d managed to dodge OC on her way out of Jam Pony. Then Max had also managed to spot her at the bar before Cindy could notice Max walk through and then double back out of the doors to Crash.

Max hummed happily as she wheeled her bike outside, admiring the freshly polished sheen of her helmet as she swung it up to place on her head. Then she froze at the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her.

“Oh, hell no,” Original Cindy’s voice said from behind her. “You were not about to leave without me.”

Max clenched her jaw and breathed deep, and then pivoted with a wide smile. “Hey! I’ve been looking for you all day!”

“Don’t be trying to tell me that. I know you’ve been avoiding me. The walls have eyes and ears. Or should I say Normal has eyes and ears, and also a disturbing willingness to sell you out,” Original Cindy said, one eyebrow raised as she slouched beside the entrance Max had just wheeled her bike through. “I figured you’d try to cut and run, so I thought I’d wait right here so that you could take both of us there.”

Max locked eyes with her, glaring. After a moment she crumpled, shoulders falling as she held out the helmet. “Fine. Get on,” she said, swinging her leg over the bike and settling with ill grace.

“Thank you, sugar. Don’t mind if I do.”

*

When they pulled up at the entrance to the film studio, they were met by a very disheveled looking Alec. Max accepted her helmet back from Cindy with a laugh as she eyed him up and down, and then she laughed some more.

“I see Joshua found you,” Cindy said with pursed lips. 

Alec shook his head and shrugged half heartedly, before he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, considering his shoes carefully.

Max snorted as she finished parking her bike and making sure it was secure.

“Hey, we’re all friends here. I wouldn’t let down a-,” he started to say, but Max just rolled her eyes and walked past him with a muttered, ‘whatever.’ Alec watched her go with a betrayed expression and then turned back to Cindy and held a hand against his chest in dismay. “I am hurt and offended. Please tell me you don’t agree with her?”

Original Cindy just rolled her eyes as well and took him by the elbow to start herding him inside. "I had to tell doggy-dog to impress upon you the importance of listening to me when I ask you for a favour, fool," was all she said, and Alec deflated a little and let her direct him along.

*

It didn’t take long under the studio lights for Alec’s joking veneer to drop away and for Max’s murder face to emerge. After another few minutes of that, Original Cindy quickly stepped in to ask the flustered stagehand to give her all of the details instead. Things went a little smoother after that. But not by much. The stagehand finally sighed, and walked off with a parting shot at Cindy to ‘make sure you keep your boyfriend and girlfriend in line if you want this to work out.’

“You didn’t tell us this was a couple thing,” Max snapped under her breath with one eye still warily tracking one of the wardrobe people, who kept drifting close and staring at them. The woman kept raising her hand and twitching it thoughtfully in Max’s direction, and if one more person tried to mess with her hair she was gonna-

“It ain’t, sugar. That would be too boring for these people,” Cindy whispered back with a bright smile to the nearest group of crew holding microphones, all of whom leaned closer to try and catch their conversation. “Now, _play along_.”

Max glared, and then scooped up a spoon full of bubbling sauce and reached past Cindy to shove it in Alec’s mouth without looking. Alec made a choking noise.

“There, I played along,” she said with a sarcastic smile when Cindy sighed.

“How much is this idiocy paying again?” Alec asked wearily. Cindy simpered at the casting director who was now also staring at them with a frown, before leaning over to mock-seductively whisper in Alec's ear. Alec's eyes widened, and suddenly all the tension leached from his body. Smiling, he threw an arm around Cindy’s shoulders and drew her close. “Well in that case, sweet cheeks,” he said.

But Cindy ducked out from under his arm before he could finish his sentence, patting him on the cheek when he looked after her in confusion. “We,” she said, gesturing between the two of them, “are not in a relationship. Original Cindy still only has time for the fairer sex. Apparently otherwise it’s not authentic for the cameras or whatever.”

Alec stared at her for a beat, and then furrowed his brow. “I’m confused.”

Original Cindy slipped around to the other side of Max, and then nudged her until she shifted closer to Alec with a huff. “Me and my girl are getting busy, and _you_ and my girl are also getting busy, and _we_ … we are just kinda like family.”

“Oh, you have got to be-“

“Like anybody is going to believe-“

“Ah, ah, ah,” Cindy scolded as she snatched up bowls and bags of more ingredients that she then shoved into their hands to distract them. “No complaining, just cooking.”

*

“It’s burnt,” Alec announced gloomily.

“It can’t be burnt, it’s just water,” Max replied dryly from across the room, where she’d perched on one of the neighbouring cooking stations after officially bailing from the entire endeavour. Cindy looked over and caught her examining the ends of her hair. She made a loud, unimpressed noise, and Max looked up, her eyes wide and innocent. “What? I think I have split ends. The flour is making them real easy to spot.”

“Mhmm,” Cindy replied, then turned back to Alec’s pot. “Yup, you burnt it. I don’t know how, but the bottom of that pot is definitely black.”

Someone yelled cut in the background, causing Cindy and Alec to startle apart and Max to hop down off her bench with a frown.

“I can’t believe this,” the casting director was muttering. Then he threw his hands up and cried to nobody in particular, “where did you find these idiots?”

Max raised an eyebrow and sauntered over. “I don’t know about you two, but I think this cooking thing’s a bust,” she said. “Shall we bounce?”

Original Cindy smiled, and then leant over and kissed Max on the cheek. While Max blinked at her, she turned and stretched up to lay one on Alec’s cheek as well. “Thank you for coming,” she said solemnly to them both, and then walked towards the door. She stopped halfway there to hold out a hand to someone who sighed and placed a stack of cash in her palm. Then she also kissed them on the cheek for good measure before she continued walking.

Shrugging at each other, Max and Alec started after her.

“Don’t forget to case the place or whatever it is you people do so you can come back for the tapes later,” Cindy said sweetly when they caught up with her at the door. Then she smiled and disappeared through it, shutting it in their gaping faces and leaving them alone to work.


End file.
